I feel lied to. I feel lied to by cliches and movies and Adele and especially by this sense of complacency that seems to have taken root in everything. By that i mean the notion that the context of a situation should make the bottomline better.
Let me elaborate; You're a side-chick but you love him, so that makes it more ok than someone who is just doing it for the.. lets call it 'colouring'.
Personally i hate shades of grey, what i hate even more is that somewhere between my high school blazer and studying for my third year exams, i became ok with them. I hate shades of grey because they make you weak, they make excuses and compromises and the next thing you know, you dont even know where you started.
Its all shits and giggles when you get a free drink from the bartender, or get a compliment on your new weave but in the greater scheme of things what does it really matter if your weave isnt synthetic when you're a shit person.
A friends BBM status read "Don't let your reputation come at the cost of your character". I'll let you marinade in that one for a bit and add, the "friend" has incredibly broad shoulders- naturally, we believe him.
But really though, it doesnt matter what it looks like to the outside world, who you look like. At the end of the day when you have your doek on and your make-up off, just for a moment, you know whether its black or white and if you're screwing up.
So i'm trying something new. I am calling myself to a higher standard and hopefully somewhere between all of the trying to be better, i will simply be better.
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