Lamentations of a (semi)reformed bad girl

We start out at 18 and we think we know it all; how to give bat to cute guys, how to make our arms look thin in pictures and we think we know the important stuff too like how to walk away or how to pass our exams. I was like that too, i was pretty fucking sure that i knew everything about pretty much everything.

Life, as it does, went on to break down every single one of the things I thought I knew about people, about friendship, about love and even about myself. I’ve chronicled most of these things on this blog- These things I lost in the fire- but now at the end of my third year, waiting on my results, I find myself looking back at all of that and wondering about the person who came out on the other side.

I think a lot about the friends I loved and lost. I wonder if I made the right decisions and cringe at the times I know I didn’t and then I remember that I am young. I have the luxury of mistakes because I still have the luxury of time. I can afford to get my heart broken and to flirt with cute assholes but what I cannot afford is to fail at life.

So while I am young in so many ways, I am also old. Old enough to expect more, old enough to accept when I have failed, to learn the lessons and fight to make sure I never have to learn them again. Growing up is a pain in the ass.

But there is something beautiful about looking back at that sassy, opinionated, headstrong 18 year old that walked into university and the person who types this today. A little more confused, a little more wary but a little wiser too.

As for the lessons, as for the bad friends, as for *strohrum, *tequila, *jaggermeister and whoever the fuck else, in the words of a visionary “AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!!”

So fuck it, I’m happy. That’s enough.

I’ll see you guys on the other side.