Dear Ex boyfriend(s)

It turns out it wasn't you. Ok, it was you, but it was also me. For all the times i called you an asshole and agonised over all the ways that you ruined everything, its funny that I didn't once consider that i may have been wrong too.

We hurt each other. We hurt each other while we were each fumbling around trying to make it work and again when we were tallying the points of who was the bigger douchebag. What we failed to realise is that you can't win a break-up. There are not enough points in the world to rub out the enormity of having someone in your life and not having them anymore.

Whether we were serious or not, whether we whispered breathless "i love you's"or we just found each other funny and brilliant for a little while, there will always be a space in time that you occupied. That is worth missing. 

So for all the bashing and anger, its time i say thank you too, you beautiful bastard. Thank you even for the crappy times, if nothing else they teach me the kind of love i can't accept. I read somewhere that you should "forget with generosity the people who couldn't love you'- and maybe that's it, isn't it? Closing the door gently behind you.